So last week we were getting ready for bed time and I just got finished washing Zoe’s hands and face. We were in front of the mirror and we were look at our reflection and I said “Zoe smile for mommy.” She gave me this really crappy fake smile that she’s been giving me for a while. So I said “Zoe that’s a terrible smile. You have to smile like this!… See happy face!” and I showed her a big smile. So then I told her to do it and she showed me the most “guhlicious” smile. And from then on she’s been good.

:: 12.22.09 :: Don’t ask me what Mickey is doing in her pants.
                                                    

:: 12.24.09 :: Don’t ask me why she has underwear on over her pjs.
                                                    


:: 12.25.09 :: Happy she gets to open all her pwesents
            

:: 12.26.09 :: Guhlicious

Sunday was a busy day for us with the church play and all. We rushed home to put Zoe down for a nap and in the evening we layered on our clothes packed up miss thang and headed out to Turtle Back Zoo to check out their Holiday Lights Spectacular. It’s a really nice small zoo and we are most definitely going to come back once the weather gets warmer. Zoe had a lot of fun recognizing and naming all the animals that she now knows.

:: The Lights ::
 
            






                                                    

:: The Carousel :: I think the highlight for me was the carousel. It was GORGEOUS! Zoe wanted off about 30 seconds into the ride.
         
        
                                              



:: The Animals ::







          
          


:: The Reptile House ::
                                                






 


Here’s a video of Zoe dropping her coin:

We just had our Christmas play at church yesterday and it was great! They older kids had the larger roles: the narator, Joseph, Mary, Angels, and shepherds. The toddlers were all stars and the infants were animals in the manger. So much heart went into getting the play prepped and ready the past few weeks. The play was awsome. The kids were great and it turned out super cute.




I don’t know if you’ve actually read the bible but there was too a godzilla, lion, and ladybug in the manger the night Jesus was born and if you don’t remember it then maybe you should read it again! And yes. That’s Zoe’s hand on my boobie. So what?



 
                                                 



Afterwards…

                                              
She’s such a mic hog I swear.

I remember when I took Zoe to see Santa last year. She cried her eyes out. She was a little over 9 months. I LOVED the photo. It’s everything I expected it to be and MORE!


This year she was a year wiser and more intuitive as to what was going to happen. So she stood on the sidelines next to Santa while I kneeled down next to her. For about 10 minutes I gave her a really good pep talk. I said things like…
“Look at that boy! Look at how happy he is to see Santa.”
“Oh my gosh Zoe! Look! Santa’s giving that girl a high five.”
“Look Zoe, they’re all smiling because they’re happy with Santa.”
“You’re not scared of Santa! Santa’s scared of you tiger!”

When it was our turn we walked up to him and she just stared at him. He asked things like…
“Do you want to sit on my lap?” “No.”
“Were you a good girl this year?” “No.”
“Are you nervous?” “No.”
“Can you smile?” “No.”
“Can you say yes?” “No.”

I picked her up and put her on his lap. She sat there…stiffly. I stood by the camera man and he whipped out this dog with a santa hat that played music and flopped his ears and I said…
“Zoe you want this?!” She nodded her head.
“Ok if you want this then you have to smile!”
She gave us this:


It says to me “This is all your getting you bitch. How dare you bring me here when I specifically told you ‘no shanta.’”
At least she didn’t cry.

Conversation I overheard last night while I was in the kitchen:

Daddy: Who’s more pretty? Ahpah(daddy) or Johnny Depp?
Zoe: Hannah eemoh (aunt)
Daddy: Zoe. Who’s prettier? Ahpah or Johnny Depp?
Zoe: Kayla
Daddy: Ok Zoe, who’s prettier? Ahpah or Umma(mommy)?
Zoe: Umma

DAT’S MAH GURL!

Merry Christmas Everyone! We went to Christmas service this morning and then came home and opened half of the gifts and then it was nap time so I’m waiting for her to wake up so we can open up the rest.

Zoe’s words: hippo, i can’t, share with you, be careful, ballerina, samchun, towel, penguin, i like you, delicious, ribbon, bongoo (fart), finger, toes, button, Tracy (as in HK’s friend), zebra, look at me, kimbap, kiss, i broke it, i dancing, i walking, come with me, hide, twinkle twinkle, tickle tickle, help me, violin, wipe my nose, violin

Please click this to enjoy this wonderful song as you go on with today’s reading. I insist.


Saturday evening we went to a christmas party on the upper west side. Towards the end of the party everyone started passing out gifts to the little kids. Zoe slowly started to rip the wrapping paper off her first present. It was a Hello Kitty doll inside of a bag. She was so happy. Then she opened her second gift and when we opened the box she gasped a little toddler gasp and said “hehwoh kitty backpack!” Girlfriend put that thing on and she was sooooo happy. It’s like she won the lotto and was willing to thank everyone and their mother even if you didn’t give it to her. That evening after we got home I was lying in bed watching tv and I just felt off. Like as if I was about to get mohm-sahl (body aches) or something. I couldn’t fall asleep cause I felt so uncomfortable and just really cold. At around 2ish I threw up in the bathroom. At around 3 I finally went to sleep. At 5 Zoe woke up and I see her doing her stick-her-butt-in-the-air stance and she says while upside down “Umma I poopy” so I tried to reach for her but she wouldn’t let me touch her till she was done. This was strange cause she NEVER wakes up in the middle of the night to take a crap. She did diahrhea and it leaked on her clothes. Oy vey. So I had to wash her and change her into new pj’s. We went downstairs to the “man-room” to see if C had fallen asleep there. I told him to come upstairs cause both of his girls were sick. He came up half asleep and took very good care of us. Thanks Hun!

Sunday morning I woke up feeling like crap. While I was changing Zoe she was playing with this easter egg that was shaped like a chicken. She’d pretend that it was a bowl full of soup and she’d pretend to chug it like a yager and then say outloud “GUHLICIOUS!” That made my morning. BY 9:30ish I was getting Zoe’s breakfast ready while the hubs was outside shoveling the driveway from the first big snowfall this winter. While I was doing the dishes Miss Busy-body had opened another gift that she received from the night before. She was sooo happy about this gift and insisted that she put it on. I am not one to argue with a good photo-op so I obliged.

          


That day was hell for me cause I just felt like shit. I felt like I, Susan, was shit, and someone came and dumped more shit on me so that I’d feel shittier. So the hubs stepped in and took over for me while I went upstairs and crashed. By evening I was sooo much better. Someone had taken off Zoe’s Christmas present so she brought it over to me again after dinner and insisted that I help her put it on once more. In my head I was thinking “Why in HELLS would anyone want to take this off?” Once again, I do not mess with photo-ops so I happily agreed. Then I asked her “Zoe, can mommy take your picture?” My little conceited half-pint answered “Yesh, yesh.”
           

Then she kicked it up a notch…
           

I’m thinking “Oh. My. Gah. You are the next Gaultier girlprend! Peeling the underwear. Be the underwear.” And then right when you thought the awesomeness couldn’t get any more awesomer…


“LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!”  Oh we’re lookin’ alright! She’s funny. You know where she was before she entered the room? She was in the office checking herself out in front of the mirror. I shit you not.

Sunday night it was 3amish and I hear her say to me in the dark “Umma umma.” I saw a large dark shadow on the bed and then I smelled it. She did diahrhea and it leaked on her shirt, her pants, her legs, down to her feet! The hubs stripped the sheets off while I got washed her. From the time she got up till monday evening came around I think she produced about 9 diahrhea diapers (6 of them leaked). By the time evening hit she had a cut on her rectal area.  Poor thing. It kills us to have to see her go through stuff like this. I put her down at 9:30. From then to 1 she produced 3 more dirty diapers. I changed her all three times without waking her up. I’m tired. I pray that she has a better day today. She’s scheduled for H1N1 booster shot at 11 so maybe in the afternoon things will start looking up for her. Poor thing. Hang in there Zoe!

:: 12.05.09 :: We took Zoe to see the Big Apple Circus. She fell asleep 3/4 into the show.
       
       




        
       


       

 
I’m sure you guys all have some type of stacking ring. The one that we have was given to Zoe as a gift. She still plays with them occasionally. However, just recently she has found a new use for them.


She’s such a trend setter I tell you. I hope she let’s me borrow them. BTW, ALL my videos end with “let’s shee, let’s shee.” Every single one. She’s so vain.

Zoe’s words: i crying, i sad, play with me, me too, i don’t know

:: Possesive::
No one is allowed to hug me except her royal magesty. So yesterday the 3 of us were in bed and the hubs grabs me and goes “HUG HUG HUG!” Zoe who’s sitting behind me gets upset and starts to whine but it’s what she said after the whining that made us laugh….

Andy: Hug Hug Hug!
Me: Hug Hug Hug!
Zoe: Eh eh eh eh eh eh ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eh……(silence)…..share.

:: Lotion ::
She LOVES lotion. When she sees me pull out a bottle of hand lotion it’s like she wants the entire universe to moisturized. I’ll squeeze a dolop on her hand and she’ll run over to her father and put it on his hands and then when she’s done she’ll run back for her turn but she won’t put it on till she sees me rubbing it into my hands.

:: Dirty Look ::
Girlfriend can now do it on command. I cannot wait to use this powerful weapon during the holidays when a cashier won’t let me return an item. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON’T REFUND ME? ZOE DIRTY LOOK!”

:: “I Tired” ::
For a few weeks now she’s been saying “I tired” or “I shleepy”. I FINALLY figured out where she got I tired from! Yesterday she was coloring and I heard her conversing with herself saying “Rushel. I tire. Rushel. I tire. Rushel. I tire.” It’s from Up when Russel was whining and he goes “I’m tired.”

:: Fake Crying ::
Last night I was getting Zoe ready for bedtime and we’re sitting on the bed next to each other and I said…

Me: Zoe, Umma hug-hug-hug?
Zoe: No. (shakes her head)
Me: Wahhhhhh… (covers my face and pretends to fake cry). I crying.
Zoe: (covers her face and pretends to fake cry). Wahh. I crying.
Me: (pushes her and knocks her over sideways) Ew don’t copy me. I crying. (cover my face again)
Zoe: (laughs) (sits back up and covers her face) I crying.

 Such a biter. OH AND GET THIS! So I got my camcorder and set it up in front of me to see if I could get her fake cry on video but she knew she was being taped so when I asked for a hug-hug-hug she said “yesh” and comes over to me to hug-hug-hug me (so to set up a visual for you, I’m facing the camera she’s facing me to hug me) BUT I knew the hug was a fake cause while she was hugging me she turned her head to look at the camera! PISHAW!!!! It’s like hugging your boyfriend but the whole time he’s hugging you he’s mouthing “I love you” to someone else. You know what I mean?!  PLAY ME FOR A FOOL WILL YOU!!??

:: 12.04.09 :: Shanta, Cheesecakes, and Dorky Hats






:: 12.06.09 :: Snow
                                                 

:: 12.07.09 :: Thug Zoe and Some Birthday Cake
We were at the dollar store and she picked out this Hello Kitty hat. Her father hates this hat. Hahaha…
                                                 

:: 12.01.09 :: The Princess Tent
It’s funny. We have this princess tent that a friend gave to Zoe. You see all these little girls going into these tents thinking they’re a princess and one day their prince will come for them. In Zoe’s case it’s like, uh uh. Guuurl, you need to do something bout dat hair cause your prince took one look and ran away carrying his horse cause he thought his horse wasn’t runnin’ fast enough to get away from you.