April 6, 2011

• Daddy’s Club

  Zoe’s Daily Funny
  When we walk into Zoe’s school in the morning all the kids that get dropped off early are way in the back of the room playing either on the mat or with building blocks on the table and are being supervised by Zoe’s teacher, Mrs Marisol. Usually we head straight to her cubby first to put her things away. I’m usually walking ahead of Zoe and sometimes I hear her behind me announcing her presence. To her teacher. But it sounds like it’s to the world…
  
  Zoe: MRS MARISOL! I’M HERE! I’M HERE! IT’S ZOE! HEY MARISOL I’M HERE! I’M HERE MRS MARISOL! HEY HEY MARISOL! I SAID I’M HERE!
  
  Good grief my ears.
  

  ---

  So for the past 2 days, Zoe’s father has been trying to recruit the kids to come to “Daddy’s Club” and abandon ship at “Mommy’s Club”. Whatevs. Do I care? No. And yes once again he has resorted to talking about my “big butt” to get a giggle from Zoe to recruit her. That’s low you bastage. But whatever. I let it slide. I actually start to laugh when I hear them talking about their club. Cause it’s how he’s recruiting her that makes me laugh. By making fun of me aka your wife aka your babies’ mama. And surprisingly he was winning her over but then she started getting all wishy washy and one second she was in my club, the next second she was in his so he told her she couldn’t be in his club because she couldn’t make up her mind so she came over to me and I told her she couldn’t be in mine for the same reason and she started to bawl. Hahaha I know we’re mean so her dad took her back. I am memberless. It’s just me. And I RIKE IT A ROT.This is all going on while I’m doing the dishes. So then it’s bed time and we move upstairs. So I forgot what I was doing in the bathroom but I told him to hurry up and get her ready for bed because it was past 9 and they were fooling around. So then this is how he tries to win her over even more…
  
  Hubs: (mocking me) Hurry up and get her ready for bed! Zoe mommy’s no fun.
  Zoe: Yeah!
  Hubs: She’s always trying to ruin our fun. She’s such a party pooper.
  Zoe: Yeah! She always does.
  Hubs: That’s why you’re in daddy’s club right? Cause daddy’s so much fun.
  Zoe: Yeah and Kayden too and mommy’s all by herself.
  Hubs: Yeah because she doesn’t know how to have fun.
  Zoe: Yeah she doesn’t.
  
  Omigod. Eye roll. Snore. Eye roll.
  Then I heard him say….
  
  Hubs: Zoe I love this! You’ve been oppressing daddy for 3 years! I waited so long!
  
  So pathetic and sad and desperate hello.
  
  Me:  You’re so sad. The levels of low you will go to win her over by talking crap about her mother.
  Hubs: Zoe mommy’s jealous!
  Zoe: Yeah! Because she’s not in your club.
  Hubs: YEAH!
  
  You see? I try not to laugh but I started laughing like a donkey.
  
  Me: Hahahaha… Ok fine. Ultimate test. Ask her if you can sleep with her tonight.
  
  Gotta say, he looked a little hesitant. Or should we say scared?
  
  Hubs: Zoe can ahbah sleep with you tonight?
  Zoe: No I wanna sleep with mommy.
  
  Talk to the palm cause you ain’t da bomb.
  I love my family. It’s never boring here at Casa Susan.
  
  Please enjoy my poems below.

  {04.01.11} New Charlie & Lola Puzzle
                                                       Oh Charlie et Lola
                                                   Why does she love yous
                                                    And forces her mama
                                                To read with a British accent
  
  
  {04.03.11} The Red Balloon
                                                                Here is our Zoe
                                                        Reaching for a balloon
                                                              She is a midget
                                                                     Like me
        

  • 10:41 am
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