Zoe’s Daily Funny:
So whenver I take Zoe out of the car she stands next to the rear right tire while she waits for me to get our bags out of the car. So as of last week she actually stood there and inspected the tire. So now she knows who the Michelin man is. I don’t think there are many 2 year olds out there that know who he is or even cares who he is. Zoe cares because she is my half pint weirdo. Hahaha. She’ll stand there and go…

Zoe: Umma who is that?!
Me: You know who that is. Who is it Zoe?
Zoe: The Michelin man. One Michelin man, two Michelin man. Mommy there’s 2 Michelin man! (there’s a logo on opposite ends of the tire)
Me: That’s right! Get in the car.

Last saturday her dad put her in the car without her getting a chance to check out her Michelin men and she was crying “MICHELIN MAN….*sob*… MICHELIN MAN!”
Oh dear Lord! Of all the things to get upset about!

So this week has been a little rough so far. I woke up tuesday morning and I see small blood drops and smears at the head of the bed. Miss Zoe, who was still sleeping also had dry blood under her right nostril. I looked at her index finger and realized the picky noser picked her nose while she was sleeping which caused the bloody mess because there was blood only on her nose picking finger. *sigh* I woke her up to get her ready for school and when I told her that her nose had bled and showed her the blood on her finger she started to smile at it.  Hello weirdo? That’s not a good thing.

Then tuesday night she woke up at 2:30 asking fo rmilk. I woke the hubs up to get her a bottle. While we were waiting for him I noticed something dark on the bed by Zoe. So I leaned over her to look closer. Girlfriend picked her nose again! And there was more blood than the night before. *sigh* I wiped her dry blood off her face and just went back to sleep so I could just deal with it in the am.  When I woke up I stripped all the sheets off AGAIN. I woke her up and lectured her and this time I told her if she kept picking her nose a snake would come out and bite her finger. Haha… Call me mean. It worked. However last night she woke up at 4am. I think she had a bad dream cause she just started to yell and whimper. Poor thing. She asked for milk again. Her father went and got it for her. I turned my back to her and tried to go back to sleep. Instead of just drinking it and going back to sleep this one started talking in the dark.

Zoe: Ariel is pretty.
Me: That’s right. She is pretty.
Zoe: Snow White is pretty. (Oh dear Lord. I know where this is going. I know she’s gonna list them all!)
Me: I know Zoe. Stop talking.
Zoe: Sleeping Beauty is pretty too. Cinderella is pretty too.
Me: *ignoring*
Zoe: Belle is pretty, Pocahontas is pretty, Mulan is pretty…Jasmine is pretty too.
Me: *Ignoring*
Zoe: Umma is pretty.
Me: That’s right. (So what? I broke my silence.) Zoe is pretty too!
Zoe: Daddy is pretty.
Me: He sure is. He’ll be happy to hear that.

It think she went to sleep close to 5. Everytime she would move “Mommy my blanket come off!” STOP MOVING! STOP TALKING TO ME ZOE!
Surprisingly I’m not that tired today even though it was hard to get out fo bed. The hubs however had a hard time getting up and he was really cranky. So when he got off the 166 bus to Port Authority he said there were 3 black guys where they got off and they said comments like “Damn there’s mad chinks on this bus! Godzilla must be loose somewhere!”  It’s the 166 from Palisades Park which is fuckin’ Korea of New Jersey you assholes! So the hubs told me that 1 or 2 guys said something along the lines of “It’s not cool to say stuff like that” or something close to it. MY CRANKY PANTS however says “Oh look. It’s 3 black guys. Someone must be passing out welfare checks somewhere.”  So OF COURSE one of the black guy says “What the fuck did you say?!” and then my husband was thinking “ohshitohshitohshit…” and he said he started walking fast. He said that they were following him and then 2 cops approached them and got both sides of the story and basically told all of them that they were retarded. One of the cops let my husband go and said that they were going to hold on to the 3 guys till he was well out of sight. In this day and age ya know? Assholes.

:: 06.27.10 :: The Incredible Tent
Funny story about this tent: 2 weeks ago I bring Zoe down and start packing her food for school. Out of the blue, and she’s pretty random I mus say, she goes…
Zoe: I hate Aunt Carment.
Me: Oh really?
Zoe: Yes.
Me: Ok. Well then I guess we can give Aunt Carmen her Incredibles tent back. Aunt Carmen bought that for you.
Zoe: (thinking about it, thinking about it…) I love Aunt Carment. (smiling)
Me: Thought so. 

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
Yesterday Zoe and I were watching Mulan for the 500th billionth time. When the Huns came out she asked me…

Zoe: Mommy who is that?
Me: The Huns
Zoe: The Huns?
Me: Yes. They’re bad bad bad and they’re trying to hurt Mulan and her friends.
Zoe: Ohhhhhh.

So she continued to watch and once we got to the end of the movie where the head of the Huns was fighting Mulan, Zoe lost her cool and started yelling and pointing at the tv angrily.

Zoe: NO HUN! YOU NEED A TIME OUT BOY!!!!! LEAVE MULAN ALONE! DON’T TOUCH HER! GO AWAY! COME AGaIN ANOTHER DAY!!!

So passionate I tell you.

HAVE AN AWESOME MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!!!

:: 05.19.10 :: Embrace Your Inner Dork and Just Own It


                                       

        

:: 05.25.10 :: Friends
This is Crystal. Isn’t she cute. She and Zoe have known each other since about 4 months old which is when I started dropping her off at daycare. Crystal is only 2 months older than her. I remember picking Zoe up at school and I see this huge gated play area in the babyroom with just those 2 huddled in a corner fighting and crying over the same toy. This happened all the time when they were crawlers. Now they’re both “big girls” and they still bicker but they love each other and they’re just SO FRIGGIN CUTE together. These were taken when I came to pick Zoe up to take her home. They wanted to hug and kiss each other good-bye.

Zoe’s daily funny:
2 weeks ago, in the evening, I was getting Zoe ready for bed time and I took off her diaper to change her. When I wiped I guess it was a little sensitive in her private area so she said…

Zoe: Mommy ouchie! Go slowly.
Me: Ok I’ll go slowly…See? Mommy’s being gentle.
Zoe: Mommy kiss it.
Me: Um…no.
Zoe: It’s ouchie. Umma kiss it!
Me: No that’s ok. I’ll pass.

Her dad was in the bathroom and he comes out and he goes “Zoe NOBODY kisses you there! Not Daddy, Not mommy! NOBODY! Ok?”
Zoe: Ahbah go away. Umma kiss it!

The hubs is back home. Yay! I really missed him this time. Zoe really missed him. Every single time she cried this week she asked for her “dehdee dehdee!” So she is slowly but surely taking baby steps towards Team Daddy. 5 more months to complete the trade.

So there are a lot of foods that Zoe dislikes that I just feel all normal kids like. For example: grapes, apples, applesauce, chicken nuggets, oranges, blueberries, and strawberries. Like she’ll have one or two bites of the oranges and strawberries and then that’s it. She’s done. Such a weirdo. But she’ll eat pickles and wash it down with apple juice.  Go figure.

My girlfriend bought Zoe this toy as a birthday present and lately Zoe’s been playing with it a lot. Last night as I was tidying up my bedroom I heard her playing but she was having the Octopus barber and the Duck doctor fight. So I called her into the bathroom to wash her face and hands. She gets up runs towards the bathroom and right before she stepped in she turned around and while pointing at the Octopus she said in this lecturing tone “Octopus! Be good! Okay?! Time out! Okay!?” and then came towards me to pick her up and wash her face. Can we say BOSSY?

:: 05.15.10 :: One Saturday Morning…

Ride-On Buggy Toys
Wed, May 12, 2010 (BabyCenter News) — In cooperation with the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), Step2 has announced a recall of about 2.5 million ride-on buggy toys.

A pin attached to the yellow knob on the handle of the buggy can loosen, causing the handle to detach from the buggy. This poses a serious risk of injury to young children. Step 2 has received 28 reports of the handle detaching. Two incidents required professional medical treatment and 26 resulted in minor scrapes and scratches.

The Step2 Push Around Buggy and Whisper Ride Buggy are ride-on toys. The buggy comes in various colors including orange, red, blue, pink, and green. The buggies have a red “Step2” logo on the handle.

Buggies that have a handle attached by a bolt with a white or black plastic head and nut are not included in this recall.

The buggies were made in the U.S. and sold at major retailers and specialty stores from August 1999 through March 2010 for $29 to $59.
– Grace Blasco, BabyCenter News

What you can do:

• Immediately stop using the recalled buggy and contact Step2 for a free repair kit.
• For additional information, call Step2 toll-free at (866) 860-1887 Monday through Friday between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m. Eastern time, or visit the company’s website.
• See additional photos of the recalled buggies on the CPSC’s website.
• Discuss this with other parents in our Product Recalls group.
• Keep abreast of children’s safety recalls by checking our recall finder.

My last ultrasound was on May 3rd when I hit the 14 week mark. Yes me know. I’m a bit behind. Last week I got an email from thebump.com giving me an update on my physical status telling me that my organs are probably getting squished by now and that I will probably start to have a hard time breathing.  Um, hello? That kicked in like 2 months ago! Work with me! I am smaller. Just in size, weight, and frame that I guess it does make sense that my organs have been pushed up a lot earlier. You know, this is how I kind of suspected I was pregant! I had a hard time breathing after eating suhlung tang and I wasn’t even done with my bowl! I am now most definitely showing. It’s a nicely formed bump. I really think it’s a girl. Hahaha… which reminds me that the hubs and I didn’t make an actual wager as to what the lucky guesser will win.

Anyways yesterday as I was leaving work I stopped by the bathroom on my way out. When I went to wipe there was some spotting. I started to cry in the stall. Then I cried some more as I washed my hands. Then I cried all the way to Zoe’s daycare. My worry was that I was miscarrying. I ran into my friend Theresa, who was also at the daycare to pick up her daughter and I lost it again. She made me feel better. She’s a nurse. I went home, called my doctor who advised me to come in the next morning. I went in this morning and everything looked fine. The doctor thinks if anything it’s because my placenta is still sitting low. When I heard the baby’s heartbeat it was SUCH a relief. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard at that moment.

I was feeling so down last night as I was sitting on my bed getting Zoe ready to sleep. She sat facing me while staring at my belly. She patted it gently and said “Nice, nice, baby. Hi baby. Are you ok?” I told her the baby was ok and I told her “Zoe, tell the baby ‘I’m waiting for you.’” She leans over and goes “I waiting for you. I wanna give baby a beeg hug.” And then she hugged my belly.

While this incident happened yesterday at work, the hubs was on flight to Costa Rica for a bachelor party yesterday. His best friend, Pinky, im’ed me today and told me that they got in ok and asked if I need to speak to him at all. I im’ed back and wrote yes, that I had some bleeding yesterday and I cried all the way home and to have him call me on my cell. Pinky relayed the message and C called me and after I told him everything was ok he said that when he read what I wrote on the im that he started to tear. I love my husband.

So praise God that the baby is ok!

 

:: 05.03.10 :: Week 14


Doesn’t it look like Skeletor? Do you see what I’m sayin’?

 

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
Sunday we went to Woodbury Outlets. I realized that I forgot to pack wipes and diapers so we found a local Target there. When we got back to the car, Zoe and I were waiting behind the hubs for him to open the door. Zoe turns around and from my view looking down it looked like she was looking at my belly and she said “Hi baby.” and then she poceeded to pat my crotch. I said “Um wrong spot?!”

This morning I called her over to me cause I had to do her hair. I said “Zoe do you want it like a horsey tail or pigtails?” She responds “Like Mulan”. Ok horsey tail it is. She don’t know.

I forgot to write about this but last wednesday it was about 2:30 in the morning and I remember hearing “umma?” then silence, then BAM. She rolled off the foot of the bed. How in the heck did she infiltrate my high level security system? Easy. I was rolled up in a ball so she squeezed past her dad’s hairy chia-pet legs and my littly nubby toes. She cried for about a minute and then went back to sleep.

:: 05.16.10 :: Her New Kicks
I loved that she picked red. She actually wanted one left pink and one right red but I put my foot down and said “That’s too weird!” plus I know they’re not gonna sell it to us like that


:: 04.19.10 :: She’s so, so special

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
Zoe was cuddling up to her dad this morning in bed and I kept tickling her feet. She yelled out,

Zoe: GO AWAY!!!
Me: Eww.
Zoe: Come again another day.

Hahaha…I think she learned the song in school.

Zoe, out of the blue, started calling me mom. It started about 2 thursdays ago. By saturday it was “Mom” this and “Mom” that. I said “Zoe, don’t call me mom ok. Call me mommy.” She said “Ok umma” then a few minutes later “Mom! Mom!” *sigh* I love the sound of mommy. It’s like music to my ears. Mom? That’s like something I’m waiting to hear when she’s like 16. “Mom did you wash my favorite pair of jeans?” or “Mom don’t embarrass me in front of my boyfriend.” I’m not ready for Mom yet. And where in the heck did she pick it up from? School? Kids in daycare call their mommies ‘mom’?

I prefer popsicles over ice cream. So does Zoe. The hubs bought this Dora popsicle that Zoe loves and we have it every night after dinner. Whenever it’s popsicle time I just blurt out “I want red!” and then Zoe yells out “I WANT RED!” Mine is just for fun to tease her. This little one gets all hostile like she’s the ONLY one who can have red. And she will fight me at the fridge while the hubs is taking them out. Last week my sister Nancy slept over and we had eaten out for dinner. While we were driving back I told Zoe to ask her aunt if she wanted a popsicle after we got home.

Zoe: Nancy eemoh you want a popsicle?
Nancy: Sure.
Zoe: You want an orange one?
Nancy: Hmmm no. I think I want a red one.
Zoe: No. Do you want an orange one?
Nancy: No I really want a red one.
Zoe: No. Do you want an orange one?

By the way, there is no red one. It only comes in pink, purple, orange, and green.

So we are now having conversations with her. And yesterday she took it to the ‘why’ level. We were watching the Buzz Lightyear cartoon and Zurg comes out and she asked why all the aliens were crying.

Zoe: Why are they crying?
Me: Because Zurg took their ball.
Zoe: Why?
Me: Because he’s mean.
Zoe: Why?
Me: Because he was born that way.
Zoe: Why?
Me: Because I say so.

Dear God already?!

:: 05.08.10 :: Playdate w/ CJ
 
          


:: 05.02.10 :: Lunch & Ice Cream @ Ddo Ddo Wa
This is one of my hubs’ favorite places to eat. And they have free ice cream after you’re done that you can scoop yourself.
 
   
          

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies and mommy-to-be’s out there!

So on thursday after work I picked up Zoe and we headed home. There was a box that had come and I knew what it was. It was her red potty chair. I knew she’d love it because of the color. Red is her favorite. I opened it and Zoe was sooo excited she started to strip down her pants and attempted to take off her diaper. We sat in the bathroom for half an hour with no success but she was just ecstatic to sit in her red chair. Friday morning she wakes up and goes to the bathroom and pulls off her pants and strips off her diaper and then plops her lil heiny onto her chair. She’ll tell you that she peed but it’s never true. Saturday afternoon she wants to try again in the afternoon. No success again. I think she just likes sitting in it. I don’t think it’s a big deal though. We have all the time in the world.

:: 05.06.10 :: It’s Potty Time
        




Zoe’s Daily Funny:

My mother’s day started off like any other weekend morning. I woke up with Zoe smiling at me asking me to play ‘horsie’. Our ‘horsie’ dialogue usually runs something like this:
(Zoe is always the pink horse and I’m always the yellow baby horse)

Zoe: Are you ok baby?
Me: Yes I’m ok. Are you ok?
Zoe: Yes. Let’s dance. (and then we proceed to make it look like the horses are doing some sort of seizure like dance)
Zoe: I’m tired. I’m sleeping. (then she lays her horse down and stares down at MY horse to make sure I follow her lead)
Me: Me too. I’m sleeping too. (then we proceed to make snore like noises for 2 seconds)
Zoe: I wake up!
Me: Shhhh! I’m still sleeping.
Zoe: Wake up! Wake up! (this is where her obnoxious pink horse gets all up in my baby yellow horse’s face. rudeness.)
Me: Ok I’m awake.
Zoe: Help me! Help me! (this is where her horse has now fallen off the dangerous blanket cliff (which is my really my knee covered with my comforter) and onto the mattress)
Me: I’ll help you (this is where my tine baby horse rescues her fat, much bigger, pink horse)
Zoe: Help me! Help me!
Me: I did help you. You’re ok now.
Zoe: Help me! Help me!
Me: You’re ok now!
Zoe: Don’t yell at me. (this is what HER ugly pink horse says to MY eversobeautiful baby yellow horse)

This is where I wanted to chuck the pink horse across the room and out my bedroom door but then something in my mommy conscious says that would not be a nice thing to do. Dude. I’m still like half asleep. You try playing this first thing in the am. Not easy I tell you.

:: 05.09.10 :: My WONDERFUL Mother’s Day
So after we woke up we’re still lounging around and Zoe wants to sit on her red chair. So the hubs brought it over next to the bed so Zoe could watch tv while she attempted to pee. After about 15 minutes she stands up and goes “Mommy, my hands is dirty.” So I examine her hand. I don’t see anything so I touch it and it feels a little wet on the tip. I lean over her shoulder to look in the potty chair and I yell out “HUN LOOK!” 

And it was big too! I know. You’re grossed out but only a mom would understand the greatness of this moment. If you notice just north of the diaper there is a little tiny ball of poo on the floor that I found later. I think she pood, saw the little round nugget, and picked it up out of curiosity. I also said these words to her because I thought that it just had to be said “Zoe, poopy is not chocolate so DON’T put it in your mouth EVER! Okay? Do you understand?” You never know, ya know?