Zoe’s Daily Funny:
Zoe’s friend Sean is moving to Chicago. Today is his last day. Yesterday we talked about it…

Zoe: Mommy will you come with me to visit Sean in Chicago?
Me: Um Okay.
Hubs: Chicago? How you gonna go to Chicago?!
Zoe: (in a stern voice) I’m NOT talking to you! (in a sweet voice) Mommy will you go with me?

I don’t promote her behavior but you can’t help but laugh. Even the hubs was trying not to laugh. He says it’s ok because “girls are supposed to be bitchy”. I’m all fine with that but I don’t like her tone with him at times so I try to address it when I have to.

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Zoe loves Kayden. 
She adores him and loves to brag that he’s her “baby brother”.  If he’s in the walker and she notices that he doesn’t have a toy she’ll bring him a few and put them on his tray. If he cries she’ll try to do something funny to make him laugh. Lately she’ll ask “Can I touch him? Can I touch him?” So she’ll pet him and get really close to his face and say “oh you’re so cute!” or “hi you chubby.” Haha… She only gets upset at him if he slobbers on Pink (GOD FORBID! She’ll bawl and keep saying “Kayden made Pink yucky!”) of if he runs over her foot with the walker (it really hurts).

Kayden loves Zoe.
He gets so happy when he sees her. He laughs when she tries to do something silly for him. When she jumps for him he tries to jump with her while I’m holding him up but it seriously just looks like he’s doing some Michael Flatley move. His favorite game is chasing his big sister. Sometimes Zoe will run back and forth from the living room to the kitchen and I’ll be holding Kayden while trying to chase her and he gets so excited and starts flapping his arms and just cracks up every time we catch her. Sometimes he just follows her while in the walker to see what she’s doing or why she’s laughing. Up until the 7 month mark he had no interest in her but now he’s so fascinated by her. This morning she was taking a crap in the bathroom and he’s just standing there, in his walker, in front of the open bathroom door, just watching, and waiting, and inhaling her poopy fumes.

{ 06.24.11 } I don’t remember what Zoe was saying but those 2 just kept cracking up at each other.

I know. I haven’t posted for a week. Just been super busy. Here’s a quick update…

Monday: Kayden fell off our bed. I think it was like 4 something in the am. I was sleeping with Zoe in her room and I heard Kayden(whose crib is in my room) cry once but then I fell back asleep. Then I heard the hubs putting together a bottle downstairs and then I fell back asleep again. Then I heard *thud* and I BOLTED out of Zoe’s bed with Flash Gordan speed and raced past my husband who was running up the stairs. I see Kayden on the floor facing the ceiling crying. THANK GOD FOR PLATFORM BEDS! He rolled over daddy’s make-shift pillow fortress. The hubs was like “Weren’t you sleeping?! How did you hear that?!” I was just holding Kayden trying to soothe him, “A mother knows when her child’s been hurt.” He laughed and rolled his eyes but I think he’s seriously starting to believe in mother’s intuition. Kayden’s ok. It probably hurt a little but I think it just scared him more than anything.

Wednesday: I was giving Zoe a bath and she scoops up all the suds on her body and strategically plants them on the bottom half of her face like Santa, and then with a straight face, and a deep voice says “My name is Jojo.” Ok Jojo, turn around so I can wipe your butt. Later Zoe and her dad are eating a cheesecake together while I’m doing the dishes and I can hear their conversation…

Zoe: Daddy you like Transformers’ songs?
Hubs: Yeah and so do you! You know why?
Zoe: Because we’re cool!
Hubs: Yeah! And you’re on daddy’s team right! (he’s like totally stoked by the way)
Zoe: No, I’m on mommy’s team.
Hubs: Oh why? What about daddy’s team?
Zoe: You don’t give me any space.
Hubs: What do you mean?!
Zoe: Mommy give me space on my bed.

Thursday: The hubs had a team outing and came home totally wasted. Kayden was already in his crib and sleeping in my room. I was laying down with Zoe in her room reading her a bedtime story when he stumbled in. I just took one look at him and just knew…

Zoe: Hi daddy!
Hubs: Hi Zoe! Zoe I love my family.
Zoe: I love my family too.
Hubs: I love you and I love Kayden!
Zoe: And mommy?
Hubs: Yes
Zoe: And my cousins? Do you love my cousins? What are your feelings about them?
Hubs: Eff them. I love MY family.

Hahaha I’m like “omigodgotobed”. Haha then he leaves, then he comes back a few minutes later to declare his love for us once again and then proceeds to do the running man next to Zoe’s bed.

Friday: Today I am TIRED AS HELL. After the kids went down, the hubs had also passed out and if he drinks he’s sure to snore. I was talking to my friend Hans on the phone complaining about C’s nose level (Get it? Nose level? Noise level? Oh shut up.) while hovering my cell phone above the husband’s face so that Hans could get the whole feel of the experience that is the Susan. Then I went downstairs and fished out old family photos to scan and send to my sister. I got done at 1:30. At 2:30 Kayden woke up. I fed him and got knocked out. 5:30 he woke up again. I sure is tired I is. Today I gotta go home, have dinner, bathe fatty and chatty, and then pack for our little getaway. We have a LONG ASS drive with 2 kids.

Hope you all have a happy and safe 4^th.

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
I don’t remember if I posted this story yet or not but when we took our recent trip to Dutch Wonderland we realized that we would have to pay for Zoe this year. So I’m thinking she can probably pull off being a 2yr old. So we were staying at a hotel directly across the street. So saturday morning after breakfast the hubs was pushing Kayden in the stroller while Zoe and I were walking hand-in-hand in front of them…

Me: Hey Zoe?
Zoe: Huh?
Me: Zoe today you are going to pretend that you are 2 ok?
Zoe: Why?
Me: Because if they find out you’re 3 they’re gonna say “Get outta here. You’re too big.” So you’re 2 today ok?
Zoe: Ok.
Me: How old are you?
Zoe: 2.
Me: That’s right. So let’s practice. I am not your mommy ok? Pretend I’m a lady that works at Dutch Wonderland. Ok?
Zoe: Ok.
Me: Why hello there little girl? Why aren’t you just so cute?
Zoe: Thank you.
Me: And I just love your outfit. Your shirt is so cute.
Zoe: Thank you. My mommy bought it for me.
Me: And how old are you sweetie?
Zoe: I’m 2.
Me: GOOD GIRL ZOE!

I can hear the hubs laughing behind us. So we keep walking…

Me: Ok Zoe. Now pretend I’m a man that works at Dutch Wonderland ok?
Zoe: Ok.
Me: Hello there?!
Zoe: Hi!
Me: And how are you doing today little girl?
Zoe: I’m good.
Me: And my my my don’t you look like such a big girl! How old are you?
Zoe: I’m 2!
Me: GOOD ZOE!!!!
Zoe: Today I’m 2.
Me: True dat!

I know. We’re horrible parents. Just to save 34 bucks. I am basically teaching her to lie to me later in her teen years. It’s like teaching Osama how to use an AK47 on his enemies and then all of a sudden you’re his enemy. I’ll deal with it later.

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Deal
I have been eyeing these melamine outdoor plates for a while. You can buy them online for a set of 4. They don’t even sell the large plates online any more and this week there’s a sale at West Elm. So I called our local store in Paramus and they don’t have anymore and told me to call the store in Chelsea since it’s really big and has more inventory. I called. In the store you buy the plates individually. So for the large plates they were originally $6 and I got them for $3.39 each. The smaller bird plates were $5 and I got it for $2.54 each. Sweet! I saved $50.

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
Yesterday I was making Zoe’s lunch to pack up and take to school while Kayden was skootin around in his walker and Zoe was eating breakfast at the table. All of a sudden I hear…
Zoe: Transformers, all that dee dee eye. Transformers, all that dee dee eye.

I glance over at her and she’s giving me this sideway glance while smiling….it was actually more like a smirk now that I think about it.

Zoe: Mommy you like that song?
Me: No. I hate it.
Zoe: TRANSFORMERS! ALL THAT DEE DEE EYE! TRANSFORMERS! ALL THAT…
Me: You know, if you REALLY loved them you would know that you’re singing it wrong.
Zoe: How do you sing it?
Me: Transformers, more than meets the eye. Transformers, robots in disguise.
Zoe: Transformers, all that dee dee eye. Transformers, robots dee dee eye. Like that?
Me: Mmmhmm. Just like that.

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Let’s talk about Kayden first today…
He’s so cute. Hahaha. I love him. He always smiles when he sees me. His teachers say he’s such a good baby. We’ve started him on store bought baby food. Mostly fruits though. I’ve tried to start him on veggies and he is just not having it. I just started bumping his formula back up to 6 1/2 oz (I had to drop since he was sick and wasn’t drinking as much). Oh and here’s a biggie, I think he’s going to crawl soon. He’s been trying to get on all fours lately. We’ve also been practicing sitting him up and he does topple over a lot but it’s all just about practice. Sometimes he can stay seated if he’s focused on something. When he wants to be picked up he’ll follow me on his walker while crying. Hahaha. And he’s also going through separating anxiety. Like if he sees me leave the room. Yesterday I closed the gate to go downstairs to do the laundry and he started running to the gate on his walker and just started bawling. Hahahaha. Cry baby. Our Kayden’s growing up. I can’t believe he’ll be 8 months soon. OMIGOD! That means his dohl is like 4 months away! I gotta start planning. I already have some ideas…

So now that Zoe is older I can tell when she’s being sneaky. So she still has accidents. She waits till the very last second to go. It’s rather annoying. And after she poops she doesn’t know hwo to wipe her butt and if no one is there to help her she’ll just pull her panties back up so when she comes home I see skid marks on them. So on Sunday I was in the living room with the kids and then all of a sudden Zoe yells “POO-POO, POO-POO” and runs off to the bathroom. Then I hear…

Zoe: Mommy don’t come to the bathroom.

 Something is up. So I yell back…

Me: Do you need my help?
Zoe: NO! I’m alright! Just stay there and watch tv.

Oh something is DEFINITELY up.

Me: Why?
Zoe: Oh because you like watching tv so just sit there and just watch it.

I get up from the couch and start walking to the bathroom. She’s on the toilet and sees me coming and starts to bawl. She had some diahrhea on her underwear. I couldn’t get mad at that. I got mad because this little circle of diahrhea is staring both of us in the face and I asked her 3 times “Did you poopy in your panty?” All 3 times she said no.  I hit her all 3 times. I said “I’m going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me this time it’s going to hurt a lot when I hit you. Did you poopy in your panty?” She nodded yes and started to cry again. I told her I wasn’t mad because it was an accident. I was more mad that she was blatantly lying to my face. Sometimes if she accidentally pees a little bit in her panty and she’ll say to me “I have to go pee pee. Don’t check my panty.”  That’s like “I didn’t steal money. Don’t check my purse.”

Disciplining is so damn hard.

{05.28-29.11} Dutch Wonderland 2011


       













         
 

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
On Sunday Kayden woke up from one of his naps and Zoe and I were downstairs. I was like “Zoe, let’s go get Kayden. He’s awake.” So we both went up together to get him. She runs into the room ahead of me to reach him first on his swing and to calm him down she says…

Zoe: Kayden, Kayden, Kayden calm down. There’s nothing to be shy about. Noona and mommy are both here.

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Did I ever tell you guys the Target story? There’s a coworker at my work that told me this story and it really freaks me out as a parent.
She had a friend in Chicago that went shopping at her local Target with her 2yr old daughter. She must have turned her back on her kid and when she turned around she was gone. She called for her, no answer. Right away she told security and they did a lock down on all the exits. They went around the entire store looking for her. They still couldn’t find her. Finally they opened one of the exits and they were letting people out one at time to be sure. This one guy in line had a little girl that he was holding and she had blonde hair. When they looked closer it was the little girl. He had changed all her clothes and put on a blonde wig. The kid’s Korean. I was SHITTIN’ (pardon my french) in my pants when I heard this. My friend Julia was also with me and we both had our mouths hanging open. I was like “What was he going to do with her?!” Her response was “sell her in the black market” but I’m thinking what if he was some freak pedophile or something?! I said “That would never happen to Zoe. If someone tried to take her she’d cry out for me since she’s so attached.” And she made a point. They’re professionals. They will do whatever they have to to shut your kid up. This whole story just gave me the heebie-jeebies. This is like something you don’t want to hear but it’s reality. It’s reality in the most ugliest form.

{06.05.11}


Oh and HAPPY 1ST DAY OF SUMMER!

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
So saturday morning Zoe was in character while wearing her Snow White costume around her bedroom and every time I’d start the sentence with “Zoe…” She’d correct me and say “I’m not Zoe.”   Ok! Snow White, whatever. So while I was tidying up her room I was supposed to be her Prince fixing things in her “house”. Typical woman. So while I was hanging stuff up I said…

Me: Zoe…
Zoe: I’m not Zoe.
Me:  Snow White?
Zoe: Yes?
Me: Snow White, that’s a beautiful dress.
Zoe: Why thank you.
Me: Where did you get it from?
Zoe: Hmmm…(looking down at her dress and pausing) I think it’s from Canada.

Yeah. Okay. Um HeLLO!?! Do you even know what Canada is Zoe? You’ve never been there.

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Zoe is slowly liking boy things. Transformers was the first sign. Now she’s REALLY into Power Rangers. She’s never even seen the show but she knows all about them from her “new” best friend Sean. I played a few episodes for her this past weekend. She’s hooked.
 
{06.04.11} Kayden Poo

      
 
                                      

{06.18.11} What do you do when you have a pair of DJ Lance glasses and an adhesive moustache?
 
 

First let me say…HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THE DADDIES but most of all to my hubs!

Here are photos from another birthday party I helped Angi setup.

{06.05.11} Brandon’s Dol @ Maritime Parc

                                      


       




       

                                     
 


                                    

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
Our friends Angie and Jin used to date. Angie lived in Bayside and would come to Jersey a lot to visit Jin. Then the 2 decided that they were going to live in sin and move in together and live in Jersey. Then Jin decided he should make her a decent woman and they got married and moved to Queens. Then, just recently they moved back to Jersey (the next block over from us. YAY!) We ususally pay them a visit once a week during our family walks. Sometimes our visits are in the evening. Sometimes Kayden wants to be a fun sponge and the hubs will already leave with with him to walk back home while Zoe and I are still coming down the stairs to put on our shoes. One such evening the hubs had already left and I was putting Zoe in the stroller. Jin and Angie had come out with us to say bye and had helped buckle her up. As they turned to walk back to their door, I was just double checking Zoe’s seat belt and she said with a soft happy sigh…

Zoe: I love them.

Angie heard her and turned around and goes “We love you too!” Being her mother I thought it was really sweet. I know she meant it with all her little heart when she said that because she only says that to her family.

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Rear Ended 
So yesterday as I’m driving, minding my own business, talking to Angie (via speaker), and on my way to pick up my kids when SOMEONE rear ends me. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a Korean girl (everyone by where I live is Korean) in the driver’s seat and I was just thinking “OH I AM GOING TO RIP HER A NEW ONE!” I called 911 first and then I got out of my car to examine the damage. Our trunk is totally dented in and one of the muffler’s is crushed. Her car was pretty much totaled in the front and there was smoke coming out of hers. She hit me pretty hard. I think she was driving an M350. I just saw the Mercedes sign dented in I was probably 10 cars behind a red light and my car’s been at a stand still for probably a good minute. PAY ATTENTION GIRLFRIEND! I saw her in her car and she looked scared. She was young so I started to feel bad. She came out and I asked her if she was ok and she asked me the same and she kept apologizing. I asked her what had happened and she said her brakes weren’t working. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  We waited for the cops and she called her mother to come. I called the hubs and I was just so relieved it wasn’t my fault. It’s weird because we have a family trip coming up that involves 10hrs of driving and I remember thinking this past weekend ‘just don’t get into an accident.’ Yeah ok. Because of the 1 crushed muffler the officer told me to just pick up the kids and go straight home and not to drive it till it got fixed. She had to go her car towed. Before I left the mother came over to me with her and she was apologizing to me in Korean. I told her it was ok and I told her not to yell at the daughter and that at least no one got hurt. I asked the girl…

Me: How old are you?
Girl: 18
Me: So this is your first car accident?
Girl: (she looked down at her feet) No.
Me: Ok, well your parents should yell at you then. (I looked at her mom) You should yell at her when you get home.

What if Zoe and Kayden had been in the car? It would have been a whole different situation. When my kids are involved my claws will come out. I’m sure that goes for any mother.

Angie and Jin: Thanks for worrying. You guys are such great friends! LOVE yous. Like Zoe said “I love them.”

I know I can be a helicopter mom. I can’t help it. I’d rather be that way instead of seeing Zoe get seriously hurt and then thinking “I shoulda…!” So as of March (just a little bit past her 3^rd birthday) I JUST started to let Zoe go up and down the stairs by herself. I don’t know  if you’re thinking “NOW?” or more “I still don’t let my 4yr old walk down the stairs alone” but whatever. She kept saying “Mommy I can do it. I’m a big girl. Can I do it?” So I finally caved. It’s just a lot of stairs, which means a lot of hardwood, which to me means could lead to a broken leg,  which then leads to me at the end thinking “I shoulda…” I mean Zoe is super clumsy. She is that girl that will get hurt tripping over her own two feet. Last month we took Zoe and her cousins to see Rio at the movie theater and afterwards we took them to Cassie’s (which is a pizza joint a few towns over). She got a booster and was sitting on the open end of the booth. I was sitting next to her at the head of the table and I CLEARLY said  “Zoe be careful. You could fall off your chair and fall on your face on the floor and get hurt. Just sit still.” WHAT HAPPENS 15 minutes later? She falls on her face. *le sigh*  So back to the stairs, so far she’s been good. Really cautious. I get mad when she just hangs out on the stairs.  You either need to go up or down. Friggin pick one!

So that same Saturday Zoe fell on her face she had ballet in the morning. I had made Zoe her first egg, cheese, and mushroom omelette for breakfast and she devoured it. She even ate her 2 strips of bacon and almost all 5 pieces of her cantaloupe (she left half a piece). I was so happy and so proud of her I let her pick 3 starbursts from the candy jar. I told her that she could eat one on the way to ballet. That evening we took out Zoe and her 2 older cousins to watch Rio and then took them out to dinner at Cassie’s. I guess Zoe just happened to tuck her hands in her pocket and fished out the 2 last pieces of candy she’s been holding. Her cousins Isabella and Hannah saw it and it was just “Awww Zoe you’re so lucky!” “Aww we wish we had a piece too” “Zoe it looks so good” and just kept looking wistfully at her 2 brightly packaged squares pieces of goodness. I pulled her aside and told her that if she didn’t have enough to share she should stop taking them out because then her cousins would feel bad because they don’t have candy. We came back to the table and she took it out again. HELLO?! Did we not just have a conversation?! I said to her…

Me: Zoe, how many pieces do you have?
Zoe: 2.
Me: Do you have enough for you and your cousins?
Zoe: No.
Me: Do you want to let your cousins have the candy and I’ll give you candy when we go home.
Zoe: Yes.

The hubs and I made eye contact and I know he was feeling what I was feeling. I was so proud of her because the way I saw it she was making an ultimate child sacrifice. What kid would give their candy up knowing that they weren’t going to have any for themselves at that moment? She gave her cousins her 2 last pieces of candy and just had this smile on her face like “I hope you enjoy it cause it’s really good!” even though she had none left for herself. I gave her 2 when we got home.

{06.11.11} Pre-School
Zoe came home from school last week with a piece of paper announcing that she’s starting pre-school. Her father was sad. She starts beginning of July.
                                      

{06.15.11} The Damage

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
Zoe’s love for Transformers is still growing. She has asked me to look for a Transformers t-shirt for her and if I cannot find one she requested that I make one for her. I like her random requests sometimes. Right now on her list of stuff she wants is a mermaid doll and a transformers shirt. I’m working on it girl, don’t rush the queen bee. Yesterday we were driving home from school and she was ONCE AGAIN watching Transformers in her carseat. One of the corny songs came on and she goes…

Zoe: Mommy do you like this song.
Me: No. I HATE it.
Zoe: I like it.
Me: Oh I know.
Zoe: Ahbah likes it too.
Me: I know. I’m cool because I don’t like it.
Zoe: I’m cool cause I like it.
Me: No. You’re not.
Zoe: Ahbah and I are cool because we like it. Say we’re cool.
Me: Ok fine. You’re cool.
Zoe: You’re not on our team.

NEVER WANTED TO BE GIRLFRIEND! TALK TO THE PALM CAUSE THE FACE AIN’T LISTENIN!

Also yesterday morning when I was getting Zoe’s lunch together to put in her lunch bag, the hubs starts singing “YOU GOT THE TOUCH!” Then I hear Zoe’s little voice go…

Zoe: You got the power…
Hubs: YEAH!!!!!!!!!

Losers. I’m gonna make Kayden love Cabbage Patch dolls. Do you guys remember Popples? Oh snaps!

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Recent Purchases:
Kayden’s chunky-baby-cellulite-infested ass now owns the Bugaboo. Zoe still gets tired walking around though. So I have been researching for months because I refuse to buy another stoller. I found the Revelo Twoo seat on ebay for less than $100. They don’t sell this in the US so it’s a little hard to find. And I FINALLY found the “original” wheeled board for the Bugaboo. The Twoo seat ONLY works with the original board. These are hard to find now that Bugaboo only sells the “universal” one. I got it off of craigslist for $70. Woohoo!


Now that Zoe has moved over to a twin I wanted to buy her a nice blanket. I’ve been eyeing this forever from Pottery Barn Kids, the Brooke quilt. Zoe likes the Hayley quilt and I would have bought it for her eventually but since we painted her walls pink I think it would be pink overkill. Anyways the Brooke quilt is $160. I found it at the PBK outlet in Lancaster for 100 and we got a 25% off Memorial Day deal. SUHWEET! $75 is fine by me. Saved $85! I was mentally high fiving myself for like an hour cause it was such a good deal.

Anyone want to go with me to the PBK outlet in Riverhead let me know!

Zoe’s Daily Funny:
One of Zoe’s favorite books is Purplicious. And in the book the little girl, Pinkalicious writes in her diary about how she loves pink and how some of the girls in her class are mean to her because they say black is the new color. The last time I read her the book was a few weeks back right before we went to bed. A few days later I was in the kitchen and she was in the living room playing by herself while Kayden was cruising around in his walker. All of a sudden she starts walking towards the stairs so I go…

Me: Zoe where are you  going?
Zoe: I’m going upstairs.
Me: Why are you going up?
Zoe: I need to go write in my diarrhea.

I didn’t bother correcting her but I felt that I should have when I picked her up from school a week later and as we were walking out I said…

Me: Zoe aren’t you going to say bye to all your teachers?

She turns around while Miss Yolanda, Miss Kathy, and Miss Marisol were out on the open floor and proceeds to yell across the room.

Zoe: BYE GUYS! BYE! I’M GOING HOME TO WRITE IN MY DIARRHEA!

They all had this look like “what da?”

Me: DIARY! DIARY! DIARY!

I got her one. We started to write in it.

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{05.15.11} So on this day I was assembling some Ikea desk drawers while Zoe was sitting by me. I would ask for the “white nail” or the “short nail” or the “long nail” or the “short round thing” and she would just pass me what I needed….TILL she saw the spare, wireless keyboard under the desk. Then she pretended to “type” claiming she was at “work”. So I asked for a “long nail” and she goes…
                                      

{05.18.11} “I love you Kayden.”
                                     

{05.21.11} Getting dolled up for a passport photo. Isn’t he so edible? Like a fat strawberry you just want to dip in nutella.


{05.26.11} Zoe put her own shorts back on after she peed in the potty. She was quite proud. I didn’t have the heart to tell her they were inside out.